Ever wonder how punishment affects your child? Dr. Tim talks about some of the misconceptions we have about punishment in his brief video below.
For more on punishment, check out Dr. Tim’s full length article, “Can I Punish Character into My Child?“
Video Transcript
“So you don’t believe in disciplining your kids?”
I’ve heard this from many friends, students, and neighbors when I tell them that punishment usually doesn’t work in the way that most parents think. This question is also assuming that discipline and punishment are the same thing. They are not. Punishment is a form of discipline. Just like all apples are fruit, not all fruit are apples.
“But don’t your children have to learn consequences? How are you going to prepare them for the real world?”
Again, sincere questions but also coming from a false premise. Often times the punishments we actually give our children are not like the real world at all.
Let me give you an example. Recently on social media, I learned of a story of a child who had allegedly disrespected his teacher. The parents found out about this disrespect, and to punish him, made the child hold books over his head for an incredibly long period of time, repeating over and over “I won’t disrespect my teacher, I won’t disrespect my teacher!”
So in the real world, let’s say you get a little snippy with your spouse, or your child, or your co-worker. Do you have to hold something like your purse or your child’s bin of toys over your head and chant things like, “I won’t disrespect my child!” Is that how it is? Is that what it’s like in the real world? So at this point, you’re probably thinking,
“Well, what do I do instead?”
Great question. For more on discipline, check out my blog posts in the link below.
